sciarra: (Default)
[personal profile] sciarra
A friend suggestion just popped up on Facebook. It was the boy I had the biggest crush on for all of high school. The boy I snuck out of my house to go riding on the back of his motorcycle with. The first time we went riding, I couldn't believe that I was expected to wrap my arms around him. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. We went the back way to Santa Fe, but if he had asked me to ride to Alaska, I wouldn't have said no. 

I went skiing with this boy, I learned to rock climb with him, I got drunk in his hot tub. The previous three activities were all group ones. It was the motorcycle that finally got me alone with him. Then he started dating one of my best friends. I had to wait another three years until we were in college and home for the summer to kiss him. It was a short-lived thing. But, god, was it electric.

Today the picture I saw bore no relation to the boy in my head. In high school, he had been beautiful--by any standard. I usually see echoes of the people we were in our now pictures, but this one was completely different. He's average enough looking, but I wish I could find an old photograph and see if I painted on the beauty because I was so smitten. I don't think so. 

I'm not normally so appearance driven, of course I want to be physically attracted to my partners, but this boy was (by my memory) Johnny Depp beautiful. He was so out of my league. And yet we did spend A LOT of time together. I think I was always a bit shocked that we were good friends. I was gangly and super thin--think Twiggy--without being comfortable in my own skin unless I was playing a sport. He was a gymnast. And funny. And a daredevil. Obviously, I am still in love with the idea of him. But, but, now he's some normal dude in his late 30s. How did this happen???

(no subject)

19/9/09 17:38 (UTC)
seryn: flowers (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] seryn
Facebook, the killer of adolescent fantasies that somehow survived the sting of adult responsibilities.

(no subject)

19/9/09 08:39 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] brisingamen.livejournal.com
One of the great virtues of having gone through several name changes over the years is that no one from my school days can actually track me down. Which is good as I don't think I want to see any of them ever again. Having said which, the one boy at school who was some kind of a decent human being is, I discovered, on Facebook. I checked out my old school a while ago to see if anyone else was on, just out of curiosity, and his name turned up. So I took a look at his website. Well, what can I say? Interesting littie-minded boy turns into very ordinary grown-up who is trying to make his way as some sort of illustrator (I suspect he was made redundant from whatever he used to do). Seems happy but I wonder whether he is making a go of it because, to my eye, he really isn't that good.

I have a strong belief in never going back; at moments like this it is justified.

(no subject)

20/9/09 17:57 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] coachjg.livejournal.com
Facebook is so weird for things like this. We reencounter people we've lost track of (often for good reason), only to realize that we're just not the same people any more. But, I know I've had memories flood back to me--things that those other people might not even remember.

(no subject)

21/9/09 01:10 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] thera-flu.livejournal.com
Definitely hear you on the things people might not remember--on both sides. It's strange when someone remembers tons about you and you don't really remember them. However, if I asked D what he remembered about me, I'll bet the motorcycle rides wouldn't top his list or probably even make it.

(no subject)

21/9/09 01:42 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] scarletjinx.livejournal.com
Facebook is crazy for this reason. But it is so very strange, our attachments to people, memory, time.

I like the idea that both versions of this person exist. He is both that beautiful Johnny Depp boy and this 30 something man.

(no subject)

21/9/09 19:59 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] thera-flu.livejournal.com
This makes sense in that I still feel like a crazy kid inside.

(no subject)

21/9/09 12:23 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] 3meows.livejournal.com
OMG -- one of my crushes just friended me!

(no subject)

21/9/09 20:00 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] thera-flu.livejournal.com
No way! I've got a couple who have. It is just *so* weird.

(no subject)

22/9/09 01:18 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] 3meows.livejournal.com
I'm kinda glad -- he is one of the few people who I would want to talk to. I liked him because he was nice to me and cute. I think he liked me because I was actually interested in his ideas and I now realize probably didn't have much money unlike everybody else we went to school with (which I totally didn't notice). Noticed though that even though he was a year ahead of me it looks like he just graduated from college -- am wondering what curve balls he has had to overcome.